Monday, November 11, 2013
So long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye?
I haven't spoken to my older brother since our grandmother's passing well over a year ago. Even then it was brief; I gave him my condolences (he was much close to her than I ever was). But even before that we went about a year and only spoke with each other for a few hours while we picked up our mom from the airport.
I wish that I could give you the low down on why we don't speak, but I myself am still in the dark. I've called, texted and instant messaged, all with no avail. He was my best friend while we were teenagers and he was the best man at my wedding. I'm told that he's mad with my choice to stay with my husband after an indiscretion of his at the beginning of our (now 9 years strong) marriage. If that's the case, I'm enraged and deeply saddened. Leaving, or staying for that matter, is a deeply personal and difficult choice, and I have always felt that you should support the people you love in their choice regardless of what you think (unless they're in a dangerous position). Ben has more than made up for his mistake and is a far better father, husband and man because of it.
My brother taught me to flare my nostrils and to whistle. When I moved back to the Virgin Islands I was maybe 8. He pushed me around our grandmother's property in a broken down power wheels to show me around. When I started school a few months later I told people Alan was my "mano" as he introduced me to his friends. It wasn't until the end of the day that he told me "mano" meant hand and that "hermano" was brother (the word I thought I was using). He only told me at the end of the day to spare me the embarrassment of correcting me in front of the others. I got my first job working along side him. I can remember waiting at the window for his school bus to roll up so that he could be home and we could play and steal our younger brothers teething cookies. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, but there are certainly more good memories than bad.
I'm close with my younger brothers (as close as I can be with them being in their early 20's and child free haha), but I miss Alan.
How do you mend a bridge when you don't know how it broke? How many calls can go unanswered? When, if ever, is it ok to just wash your hands? How much is enough? I'm stubborn enough to keep trying, but each attempt does nothing but open the same wound and acts as a reminder that I've done something so bad that it warrants being severed from.
It's a strange sensation, being distant from someone you love, and even more strange when it's family. To not know how things are going for them. I even manage to get quick conversations in with my brother who lives in Hawaii. Sure its like every 3 months, but we speak and I know how things are and what he is up to. My youngest brother and I speak the most regularly. We see each other often and our girls simply adore their Uncle Tony and his girlfriend. I also see my younger sister often too. One's always missing.
So should this post find its way to my long lost brother, I guess i just want to tell you that I love and miss you. That I hope that life has been kind and that you're, at the very least, happy. You will always be my big brother and I will always tell the kids stories of slip and slide fights, our shoving matches, of playing Power Rangers and V.R. Troopers. They'll know of Mermaid Taxi cabs and falling out of mango trees and for sure they will know that they have another uncle who is awesome. And when we renew our vows in 2014, there will be a place for you, whether you show up or not. Most of all, know that whatever I did, I am sorry for.
Are any of you estranged from someone? Are you angry or confused? Have you given up yet or are you just as stubborn as I am? If you're no longer estranged, how did you go about it? Leave me comments down below.
As always, hugs til later.
Domesticated1022
Thursday, November 7, 2013
REVIEW: Rimmel London Stay Matte Liquid Mouse Foundation
I'm pretty excited about this review! I normally don't wear foundation. My skin is oily and I have yet to find more than one foundation that doesn't exacerbate this. I don't like heavy either, be it fragrance or formula. That weighted down feeling is enough to ruin a day and when you couple that with Florida humidity, its the perfect storm for irritation. Also, I have freckles along my cheekbones that I'm pretty fond of, so I don't like foundations that hid them. Long story short, I'm a tough customer.
I received a complimentary sample of Rimmel London Stay Matte liquid mousse foundation from Influenster for testing and review purposes. Like I said, I'm pretty excited about it and its because I have oily skin and a big forehead. I'm not shy about it. The problem is I have oily skin and a large forehead. It's terrible. Another reason I don't like wearing most foundations is because most have a shine and I usually have to couple the foundation with a powder and then I get that heavy feeling and start to think it looks cakey, no matter how light handed I am with both. So when I got the chance to test this product before it hit shelves, I was all over it!
The packaging is cute, the bottle has no shine (in keeping with the matte theme I'm sure). I had to choose the shade closest to my own over the internet and I was nervous I wouldn't pick a shade close enough to actually wear. I selected their shade "True Beige" and even when I saw the shade on the outside of the bottle I was sure it would be too dark. I tested it along my jaw and it seemed like a good fit *sigh*.
My initial testing happened while I was filming a quick unboxing via YouTube. What I though was a small enough dab for a swatch was actually a lot more than I anticipated. It smells amazing, like powder. The texture is in fact light and airy and it definitely has an excellent shine control. I'm not too concerned about minimizing pores, mines are decent for the most part. Foundation needs to pass a few things before I give the recommendation.
My second testing was a complete look. I was headed out with my husband for his doctors appointment and I wanted to see how the foundation would hold up A) against Florida humidity and B) against the day in general. I've included some before and after photos below. I wanted to do a half and half shot (of my one side of my face sans the shine control foundation and the other with) but I didn't want either side being out of balance. I also included a pic of myself at the end of the day just to show how it held. I a not using any setting spray to hold the look.
I received a complimentary sample of Rimmel London Stay Matte liquid mousse foundation from Influenster for testing and review purposes. Like I said, I'm pretty excited about it and its because I have oily skin and a big forehead. I'm not shy about it. The problem is I have oily skin and a large forehead. It's terrible. Another reason I don't like wearing most foundations is because most have a shine and I usually have to couple the foundation with a powder and then I get that heavy feeling and start to think it looks cakey, no matter how light handed I am with both. So when I got the chance to test this product before it hit shelves, I was all over it!
The packaging is cute, the bottle has no shine (in keeping with the matte theme I'm sure). I had to choose the shade closest to my own over the internet and I was nervous I wouldn't pick a shade close enough to actually wear. I selected their shade "True Beige" and even when I saw the shade on the outside of the bottle I was sure it would be too dark. I tested it along my jaw and it seemed like a good fit *sigh*.
My initial testing happened while I was filming a quick unboxing via YouTube. What I though was a small enough dab for a swatch was actually a lot more than I anticipated. It smells amazing, like powder. The texture is in fact light and airy and it definitely has an excellent shine control. I'm not too concerned about minimizing pores, mines are decent for the most part. Foundation needs to pass a few things before I give the recommendation.
My second testing was a complete look. I was headed out with my husband for his doctors appointment and I wanted to see how the foundation would hold up A) against Florida humidity and B) against the day in general. I've included some before and after photos below. I wanted to do a half and half shot (of my one side of my face sans the shine control foundation and the other with) but I didn't want either side being out of balance. I also included a pic of myself at the end of the day just to show how it held. I a not using any setting spray to hold the look.
So clearly here's the before & after :)
And here's the end of the day!
Clearly I couldn't use the same lighting, but the foundation fared well!!
The foundation held up against a sticky 80 degrees :) I felt fresh faced all day and not once did I feel like I was shiny!
Rimmel London Stay Matte liquid mousse gets a huge thumbs up from this weary mommy!! It met all my requirements and I am very pleased :)
- It must REDUCE my shiny forehead's shine!
- It CANNOT feel heavy
- It in no way can add to my oiliness
- I don't want to have to do touch ups! 3 kids allow for zero wiggle room on this rule.
- I must look awesome!
Checks all around! Here are links to Influenster, the Rimmel London Stay Matte Foundation product page and my influenster profile. If you've tried this product PLEASE leave me a comment on your experience :)
Hugs til later,
Domesticated 1022
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Attached but not really
Let's clear somethings up and get some words laid down!
I have, on more than one occasion been described as an attachment parent/crunchy mama by some of my friends. That's cool with me, because none of it sounded like an insult. That being said, I started following some groups on Facebook and Twitter that promote attachment parenting. Attachment Parenting is basically a form of gentle parenting. These parents tend to baby wear, co-sleep/bed share, breast feed and use gentle means of "discipline". I thought to myself "OK, this sounds like me in a nutshell". We don't spank and I do all that stuff! I kind of hated the term "attachment" because it made it sound like I won't ever cut the cord but, whatevs.
A crunchy mom is definitely not me. I don't do cloth diapering, I am not sure if I'll be making baby food, I'm pro-circ and pro-vac, and elimination communication ain't my bag. Now, I am by no means knocking anyone who does any of the aforementioned. More power to you! That all sounds like a huge show of dedication to your wee one!
I have been called (by one rather judgemental bi-otch) lazy because I said that all of that sure did sound like a lot of work. It does sound like a shit load of work! I have two other children, which means I have parties to attend, after school activities, homework, doctors appointments, school functions and household duties to do too. All while keeping a marriage functioning. I love Nixon and want to offer him the best that I can. That being said, I don't want to add extra demands to my already hectic day. Days when I can sit around and do nothing come few and far between, so if I want to afford myself some downtime and that in turn makes me lazy, so be it. I'll wear that badge without guilt. I highly doubt that Nixon will come to me years from now and say "Mom, you ruined my life! Why didn't you make me my baby food?? I could have been a brain surgeon if you had just looked for cues that I wanted to poop!!" But if by some chance that does happen, I'll write a retraction.
I stopped following or unliked a lot of those pages because MANY (not all) of those women were aggressive and militant. They were mean, sarcastic and condesending to women who turned to the page for advice. One mother was struggling because her husband didn't feel comfortable bed-sharing with their newborn. She turned to the group for advice on how to handle her husbands concerns. Most of comments basically told her to do it anyways. Some went as far as telling her that "MOM knows best". A very small group told her to try to compromise. These women were encouraging her to railroad her husband and "send him to the couch" until he was ready to bedshare!! Yes, the expression is "Mother knows best" but damn, its a marriage not a dictatorship. He is after all, a contributing member to the kids exsistence.
My big issue came when one mom wrote that she was pro-circumcision but was feeling guilt because of her son's pain. She turned to the group for comfort....and they ripped the poor woman to shred! "How dare you call yourself a natural parent!" or "You should feel guilty, you butchered you baby." Whoa...butchered? The woman tried to defend herself and desperately tried to hold on to her Attachment Parent title, stating that she baby wears and blah blah blah, but this was the one and only thing she strayed from with. The women (and men!!) leaving comments didn't back down. It had to have left her in even more tears by the time she was done.
Who do these women think they are to look down their noses at any other parent? Every choice you make regarding you child(ren) is a personal choice! Not because its a matter of opinion, but because as parents it is almost sacred. No parent wants to raise the next Snooki or Ted Bundy. Every choice, from baby food to discipline is riddled with self doubt. Did you make the right choice? Is this the best choice? Am I making this choice because its easier?
I stopped following or unliked a lot of those pages because MANY (not all) of those women were aggressive and militant. They were mean, sarcastic and condesending to women who turned to the page for advice. One mother was struggling because her husband didn't feel comfortable bed-sharing with their newborn. She turned to the group for advice on how to handle her husbands concerns. Most of comments basically told her to do it anyways. Some went as far as telling her that "MOM knows best". A very small group told her to try to compromise. These women were encouraging her to railroad her husband and "send him to the couch" until he was ready to bedshare!! Yes, the expression is "Mother knows best" but damn, its a marriage not a dictatorship. He is after all, a contributing member to the kids exsistence.
My big issue came when one mom wrote that she was pro-circumcision but was feeling guilt because of her son's pain. She turned to the group for comfort....and they ripped the poor woman to shred! "How dare you call yourself a natural parent!" or "You should feel guilty, you butchered you baby." Whoa...butchered? The woman tried to defend herself and desperately tried to hold on to her Attachment Parent title, stating that she baby wears and blah blah blah, but this was the one and only thing she strayed from with. The women (and men!!) leaving comments didn't back down. It had to have left her in even more tears by the time she was done.
Who do these women think they are to look down their noses at any other parent? Every choice you make regarding you child(ren) is a personal choice! Not because its a matter of opinion, but because as parents it is almost sacred. No parent wants to raise the next Snooki or Ted Bundy. Every choice, from baby food to discipline is riddled with self doubt. Did you make the right choice? Is this the best choice? Am I making this choice because its easier?
WHO CARES!?!
At the end of the day, if your kid is happy, healthy and alive, pat yourself on the back! You are raising a child the absolute best you can just because you're taking the time care!
Nixon is 4 months old (GAH!!) and the pediatrician suggested we let him try rice cereal. We did and he loved it! I mixed it with breast milk and the boy went crazy. I shared this moment with a handful of my close friends who are Nixon lovers. I wasn't to thrilled with my responses. I had several people tell me that I shouldn't introduce foods until after 6 months, that I was basically feeding my baby sugar, or that I'd regret it. Whoa, these are my fave people! All this over a few spoons of cereal. It didnt replace a nursing session, and it wasn't going to be an everyday thing. I felt a little hurt. I support my fellow momma friends in their parenting choices. If they want their tribe to go without vaccinations, or choose to raise their wee ones vegan...cool. I don't knock it. It might not be my choice for our family, but I'll support you and encourage you every step of the way. Nixon hasn't had another bowl of cereal since. Not out of guilt on my part, but because while Nixon may haved loved it, I'm not quite ready for my little guy to make this big guy step.
If I have to be stripped of a title for my parenting choices, so be it. Im a trailblazer anways. I'll parent the Domesticated Glitter way. It's a great mix of over analyzing worrying and a dash of fun. I have always said that being a parent is freaking hard! Most times its thankless, sleepless, and flat out exhausting. And that's cuz you're doing it right!
I've decided not to fall into anyone else label or category of parenting. My little gang is very different from another. Your beautiful handful is CONSTANTLY changing, so your guidelines will have to change too. If some group or label won't allow wiggle room and expects you to be a cookie cutter and fall in line..screw 'em!
Now, go continue being awesome and unlabel yourself! I did and its a huge weight off my sore shoulders. And remember, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything when it comes to raising kids.
Hugs til later!
Domesticated1022
Sunday, September 8, 2013
25 things to know about me
Since I'm a name and a face and I'm relatively new to this whole blog thing, I thought I should make a list of things to know about me. Most are weird, because I'm a weird gal :)
- I'm SUPER allergic to pineapple. I didn't used to be, and I found out that allergies are developed and not something your born with :( I miss Pina Coladas most of all.
- I am the only girls I know who hates shoe shopping. After three kids, I went from being a size ten to being a size 11 and a half..wide. All the cute shoes stopped a size and a half ago.
- I regularly bite my husband when he makes me happy. Don't know why, but it just feels right.
- If I'm having a shitty day, or feeling bad about myself, painting my nails is the quickest fix for those blues.
- I make a MEAN bowl of cheddar broccoli soup (been debating whether to post my recipe).
- When I'm stressed, I bake. Ben can usually tell if the kids were a handful by the amount of baked goods on the counter.
- I can't read just one book. I have to read at least 2 books at once.
- I have a green dot on the tip of my big toe on my right foot. It is a piece of pencil tip that stabbed my toe when I was 11.
- Because of #8, I go apeshit when my kids leave their pencils on the ground.
- I have a thing about bathrooms...I hate them. I don't use public restrooms, unless it is life or death or my kids have to. Even then I feel the need for a Purell bath.
- My right shoulder slips in and out of place because I fell out of a mango tree.
- I pick at my face...A LOT...and I'm an Esthetician, so I know better!!
- I did not get my drivers license until I was 22. Ben drove all the time. He bought me a car when I was 20, and I just coasted on a learners permit because I was too chicken to take the driving test.
- I have 4 childrens stories written, all inspired by things my daughters have said or done, that they like for me to read to them.
- I am Harry Potter and Disney obsessed. Shamelessly obsessed.
- I am absolutely horrible about mailing out gifts and cards on time. I ALWAYS ALWAYS get the cards and gifts and cards early, but I always somehow manage to send them out about a week late.
- I am terrified to my very core of clowns. :Shivers:
- My girls are a definite source of laughter. They once cried when my husband mowed the lawn because he was "killing all the grass".
- Sauteed onions always remind me if my husband. We grew to like each other while learning Culinary skills in high school.
- Salvador Dali is one of my all time favorite artists and somehow I have never been to his museum in Tampa :(
- I collect scarves. I mean, I wear them too, but it's almost compulsive when I buy them.
- I am 5' 11"
- I shave my legs with olive oil after finding out all of whats in shaving cream.
- I have a bucket list. I just don't call it that; I call it my Excitement list. I have a lot checked off, but I keep adding to it lol.
- I am actually really scared and sensitive about this blog. I really enjoy doing it, but haven't shared the address with everyone I know.
BONUS!!
- I got a case of ringworm (eww, I know) as a kid that was so bad, I actually have scars.
- I feel that my whole life has been preparing me to be a mom. It is the best job I have ever had. There is nothing that makes me happier than being a constant presence for my kids.
Now you know a little bit more about me. Share somethings about yourself down below in the comments section!!!
Hugs til later,
Domesticated1022
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Lifeway Kefir Review
Just wanted to share with you guys this delicious alternative to yogurt. I HATE drinkable yogurt. My pregnancies with my girls ruined them for me. I was obsessed with drinking them to ensure my loves got all the vitamins they needed. So when Influenster asked e to take a survey on drinkable yogurts, I was blunt and honest and SURE it was going to disqualify me from the new VoxBox they had coming up. Turns out, it didn't! I was hesitant to try this because I didn't like the drinkable stuff. I was originally aiming to try out their frozen kefir, because YUM! My local Publix however doesn't carry the frozen goodness, so I decided to use my voucher on the drinkable stuff after all. I decided to try their cappuccino flavor. First off I was really impressed with the size of the bottle (32 oz).
Publix had them on sale for 2 for $7 and to me that was a real bargain! Next was the flavor. It was a bit jarring at first because it really has that tangy flavor, but somehow that didn't take away fro the cappuccino flavor. It worked well. Next, I was surprised that the kefir has this bubbly texture to it. Turns out that is normal. I liked that. It had a thick feeling to it, but those bubbles made it feel light and frothy. I had my girls try it, and they didn't love it, but when I went and bought the strawberry banana flavor they chose it over their Go-Gurts. I think it was the original flavor I bought. They last along time after being opened, which I LOVE because I want bang for my buck, you know? I think I went to a week with mine, and the kids flavor didn't last long enough haha. So all in all, I REALLY like Lifeway Kefir! Taste, price and most importantly, healthy! I'm really eager to try their frozen Kefir. Going to hunt it down. Head out to your local grocery store, give it a try and let me know what you think! I found mine in the Greenwise section at Publix F.Y.I. I'm Including a link to their site so that you can check them out for yourself and see if you want to fall in love too ;)
http://www.lifeway.net/
Hugs til Later!
Domesticated 1022
I received this product complimentary to test through Influenster’s VoxBox program.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Choosing home birth
“There is no other organ quite like the uterus. If men had such an organ they would brag about it. So should we”
― Ina May Gaskin
I was a big advocate for home births before I had one. Things is, it's hard to be taken seriously as a cheerleader for something you haven't experienced first hand. Boy, am I glad that I did!
Without going into too much detail, I wanted to share our family's experience. Honestly, deciding to do a home birth is terrifying. You'll second guess yourself a few times, but I have found that reading about positive experiences helped ease that panic. I want to recommend the book "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin. I'll warn you now, the book has photos and at some points was a bit too Hippie even for me, but the information and reassurance it provided was exceptional! The first part of the book is experiences from woman who had home births, birthed in a birthing center, or had a midwife assisted hospital birth. The book is pretty well rounded on all those fronts and it provides a wealth of info on lots of other things when it comes to having your baby. Both my husband and I whole heartedly recommend that you watch a documentary called "The Business of Being Born". You can catch it on Netflix and they have bits and pieces on Youtube, but it's such an eye opening movie. Ben and I both watched it and both really enjoyed it.
When I found out we were expecting the first thing I did was tell my husband that I wanted to push for a home birth. I didn't have to give my guy one explanation. He was on board! I later found out that he was having a lot of concerns about doing a hospital birth too. I had used my midwife for the delivery of our first daughter Jade. She also happened to be one of my best friends mom. I've known Ashley since we were 16 and having Diane deliver my baby again just felt right.
My contractions had been pretty inconsistent for about a week or so. Mostly Braxton Hicks but with a few doozies packed in. So, Monday night I was surprised to see the *gag* bloody show. I got giddy because I knew that meant that my delivery day was fast approaching. I was already 2 days late at this point and if baby 3 kept up with tradition I figured he would arrive by the end of the week. Both my girls were 4 and 6 days late. Anywhoo, I texted my hubby that without going into too much detail that I was certain that baby would be on his way soon. That night, I was restless! I kept getting contractions that were keeping me from falling into a deep sleep. They were pretty disruptive. By the time it was 4 a.m on that Tuesday morning, my contractions had jumped from every 12 minutes to every 3. TIME TO CALL THE MIDWIFE! Hubby called Diane and left a message and she called back in less than 10 minutes. I talked her through what had been happening and she said it sounded like I was (FINALLY) in labor. HOORAY! Hubby, was immediately a ball of nerves. He stripped the bed and made it to the midwifes specs (basically our set of sheets was to go under a shower curtain/plastic table cover with a fresh set of sheets on top). I started a crock pot full of ginger that would act as a warm press when it came time to push, and we buzzed around the house. Our girls woke up and we told them that today would be the day that baby would arrive. We had went over what we expected of them a few days before, so we touched base on how they were to be quiet and respectful, about where to find snacks and lunch and drinks that we made in advance, and what they could expect from mommy as the day went on and their brother got closer to being born. My dear friend Ashley arrived (she was to act as sort of a tag team partner to Hubby should things get to be a bit much for him and as a comfort person for the girls). She immediately got me up and out for a brisk walk to keep my contractions from stalling.
Midwife Diane, and her assistants Michaela and Shannon all showed up and I felt like things were about to pop off. They didn't. In fact, things kind of bounced around. One minute they are strong and consistent and then another there would be a huge gap or they would lose some of their intensity. While my contractions came and went, Hubby and I joked and kissed and smiled. We got sent on another 20 minute walk and my contractions got so strong I had to stop and breathe through them. Hubby was awesome at reminding me to take deep breaths. Sometimes I would cry, other times I would throw my arms around Hubby's neck and rock my hips. We came home and things stayed pretty strong for a while, but then they would slow down, we would get sent on another walk and so on. Ashley commented on how impressed she was that I was still able to laugh and joke even with my contractions picking up and getting closer together. Diane agreed. I felt that I was only able to stay myself because I was home. Home with people I knew I could trust. Home with my baby girls coloring and writing notes for their long awaited brother.
It felt sooo right to be home. Even as my contractions became unbearable, I never once wanted to leave. I joked with Hubby about how I was a FOOL for deciding to do it at home, and he laughed and kissed me and told me he agreed. He was a great source of strength, and even when I couldn't laugh anymore, he kept the jokes coming because he knew that deep down it helped me to see him being him. I was so worried about him. Despite this being our 3rd child together, this was the first time he would be there for a birth. He was on deployment for Jade's birth and because of family silliness he missed a bulk of my labor and showed up just in the nick of time for Sonnie's c-section. He had expressed his nervousness (but said he had no doubts about the home birth or our choices leading up to it). He just didn't know what to expect and that scared the living crap out of him.
Some many hours later, I hit my wall. I broke down. I cried and said how tired I was. I knew that I didn't want to move to a hospital. But I was just so damned exhausted. I just wanted to sleep. I felt like I had given every single ounce of myself. I kept digging and searching for that last well of power and I couldn't find it. Thank God for Ashley and Ben. Ashley kept telling me that I was so close to pushing and meeting my baby. She was sure to drive me forward, to make sure I didn't give in to my fears and I don't think I would have pushed on with out her <3 Ben would whisper that I was so strong, and that he knew I could do it. So, despite having no where to pull from, I gathered my balls and kept going. Before I knew it, I was given the okay to push. And push I did. It took me maybe a good 5 or 6 pushes and I before I knew it...there he was. Beautiful and silent, blinking big gray eyes at me. Ashley (who caught the baby because Ben had said he didn't have the stomach to see all of the birthing) was crying and later she joked about wanting to raise him up to the light courtesy of The Lion King haha. I looked at Ashley, with tears in her eyes and then looked at Ben who was beaming with love and pride and excitement and I knew that baby had been born into a room that was filled to the absolute brim with love. So, I cried and held my very slimy little boy to my chest and just let every feeling wash over me. I felt relief because I was so glad that the hard part was over. I felt loved because Ben leaned over and kissed me as I cried from utter joy and I felt my faith in God renew. I had prayed endless hours that our son would be born safely and peacefully and sure enough, he had been. Everything I had asked God for when it came to our son, I got. It was hard for me not to feel God's love at that moment. My faith had been shaky and in the brief moment when my son and I locked eyes, it stopped feeling so rattled.
The girls had been sent to bed and I was thrilled at the idea of the waking up to find a new family member. It was like Christmas, but better. When the girls laid their eyes on him, they both cried. Which made me cry. They were moved to tears by love. They are so young and love and excitement moved them to tears. It was all very special.
That's why I had our baby at home. This will be our family's last baby. Ben and I are done having children and doesn't that deserve something memorable? We felt his birth should be something that was binding and help really solidify the love between us all and the importance of family.
Here's the kicker. Being home provided such an underrated comfort. Our girls were awesome, even though Sonnie was a bit nervous for mommy and baby, I feel that worked out so well because they were in what they know to be a safe, comfortable bubble. The things that make them feel at ease, like Jade's favorite teddy bear or Sonnie's snuggle shirts (long story) were readily available to them. They watched Netflix and their favorite movies, colored and played in their room. None of that would have been possible at a hospital.
Ben had the benefit of being at home too. When labor first kicked off, he popped in his favorite movie and I saw him calm down a bit. We snuggled on the couch and laughed. He made me breakfast, so I could keep my energy up. We wouldn't have been able to do that at a hospital. When labor got rough, we got to lay in our bed, in our room. He got to play on his PSP without feeling judged (hey, he had 16 hours to burn!) and when baby was finally born, he got to take a warm shower, eat a warm meal and CRASH! He didn't have to do what we both agreed was one of the most heart breaking things...leave his new baby and his darling wife to go home and do those things. How unnatural is that?? As a man, you've just been introduced to this person that you and the person you love have made and waited eagerly for and then BAM, you have to leave. More like tear yourself away :(
I can't put into words the euphoria a felt afterwards. From successfully having my dear boy, to having him at home, to doing what I was scared I couldn't muster up the strength to do. ALL of it. Laying down that night he was born, in our bed beside my husband and with baby curled up between us (yes, we co-sleep) moved me to tears. I cried because I was happy. How awesome is that??
Long story short, don't let fear hold you back from something that could be seriously moving! I was a VBAC and I heard PLENTY about how unsafe it would be. If you have your have your heart set on being home for baby, then press on! DO the research, find a midwife you trust, and follow your gut!
― Ina May Gaskin
I was a big advocate for home births before I had one. Things is, it's hard to be taken seriously as a cheerleader for something you haven't experienced first hand. Boy, am I glad that I did!
Without going into too much detail, I wanted to share our family's experience. Honestly, deciding to do a home birth is terrifying. You'll second guess yourself a few times, but I have found that reading about positive experiences helped ease that panic. I want to recommend the book "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin. I'll warn you now, the book has photos and at some points was a bit too Hippie even for me, but the information and reassurance it provided was exceptional! The first part of the book is experiences from woman who had home births, birthed in a birthing center, or had a midwife assisted hospital birth. The book is pretty well rounded on all those fronts and it provides a wealth of info on lots of other things when it comes to having your baby. Both my husband and I whole heartedly recommend that you watch a documentary called "The Business of Being Born". You can catch it on Netflix and they have bits and pieces on Youtube, but it's such an eye opening movie. Ben and I both watched it and both really enjoyed it.
Let it begin!!!
Our Home birth kit! Everything you need to have baby at home :)
Midwife Diane, and her assistants Michaela and Shannon all showed up and I felt like things were about to pop off. They didn't. In fact, things kind of bounced around. One minute they are strong and consistent and then another there would be a huge gap or they would lose some of their intensity. While my contractions came and went, Hubby and I joked and kissed and smiled. We got sent on another 20 minute walk and my contractions got so strong I had to stop and breathe through them. Hubby was awesome at reminding me to take deep breaths. Sometimes I would cry, other times I would throw my arms around Hubby's neck and rock my hips. We came home and things stayed pretty strong for a while, but then they would slow down, we would get sent on another walk and so on. Ashley commented on how impressed she was that I was still able to laugh and joke even with my contractions picking up and getting closer together. Diane agreed. I felt that I was only able to stay myself because I was home. Home with people I knew I could trust. Home with my baby girls coloring and writing notes for their long awaited brother.
It felt sooo right to be home. Even as my contractions became unbearable, I never once wanted to leave. I joked with Hubby about how I was a FOOL for deciding to do it at home, and he laughed and kissed me and told me he agreed. He was a great source of strength, and even when I couldn't laugh anymore, he kept the jokes coming because he knew that deep down it helped me to see him being him. I was so worried about him. Despite this being our 3rd child together, this was the first time he would be there for a birth. He was on deployment for Jade's birth and because of family silliness he missed a bulk of my labor and showed up just in the nick of time for Sonnie's c-section. He had expressed his nervousness (but said he had no doubts about the home birth or our choices leading up to it). He just didn't know what to expect and that scared the living crap out of him.
Some many hours later, I hit my wall. I broke down. I cried and said how tired I was. I knew that I didn't want to move to a hospital. But I was just so damned exhausted. I just wanted to sleep. I felt like I had given every single ounce of myself. I kept digging and searching for that last well of power and I couldn't find it. Thank God for Ashley and Ben. Ashley kept telling me that I was so close to pushing and meeting my baby. She was sure to drive me forward, to make sure I didn't give in to my fears and I don't think I would have pushed on with out her <3 Ben would whisper that I was so strong, and that he knew I could do it. So, despite having no where to pull from, I gathered my balls and kept going. Before I knew it, I was given the okay to push. And push I did. It took me maybe a good 5 or 6 pushes and I before I knew it...there he was. Beautiful and silent, blinking big gray eyes at me. Ashley (who caught the baby because Ben had said he didn't have the stomach to see all of the birthing) was crying and later she joked about wanting to raise him up to the light courtesy of The Lion King haha. I looked at Ashley, with tears in her eyes and then looked at Ben who was beaming with love and pride and excitement and I knew that baby had been born into a room that was filled to the absolute brim with love. So, I cried and held my very slimy little boy to my chest and just let every feeling wash over me. I felt relief because I was so glad that the hard part was over. I felt loved because Ben leaned over and kissed me as I cried from utter joy and I felt my faith in God renew. I had prayed endless hours that our son would be born safely and peacefully and sure enough, he had been. Everything I had asked God for when it came to our son, I got. It was hard for me not to feel God's love at that moment. My faith had been shaky and in the brief moment when my son and I locked eyes, it stopped feeling so rattled.
Nixon Cash Boutwell, born June 11th at 11:56 p.m.
SOOO in love!!
The girls had been sent to bed and I was thrilled at the idea of the waking up to find a new family member. It was like Christmas, but better. When the girls laid their eyes on him, they both cried. Which made me cry. They were moved to tears by love. They are so young and love and excitement moved them to tears. It was all very special.
That's why I had our baby at home. This will be our family's last baby. Ben and I are done having children and doesn't that deserve something memorable? We felt his birth should be something that was binding and help really solidify the love between us all and the importance of family.
Here's the kicker. Being home provided such an underrated comfort. Our girls were awesome, even though Sonnie was a bit nervous for mommy and baby, I feel that worked out so well because they were in what they know to be a safe, comfortable bubble. The things that make them feel at ease, like Jade's favorite teddy bear or Sonnie's snuggle shirts (long story) were readily available to them. They watched Netflix and their favorite movies, colored and played in their room. None of that would have been possible at a hospital.
Ben had the benefit of being at home too. When labor first kicked off, he popped in his favorite movie and I saw him calm down a bit. We snuggled on the couch and laughed. He made me breakfast, so I could keep my energy up. We wouldn't have been able to do that at a hospital. When labor got rough, we got to lay in our bed, in our room. He got to play on his PSP without feeling judged (hey, he had 16 hours to burn!) and when baby was finally born, he got to take a warm shower, eat a warm meal and CRASH! He didn't have to do what we both agreed was one of the most heart breaking things...leave his new baby and his darling wife to go home and do those things. How unnatural is that?? As a man, you've just been introduced to this person that you and the person you love have made and waited eagerly for and then BAM, you have to leave. More like tear yourself away :(
I can't put into words the euphoria a felt afterwards. From successfully having my dear boy, to having him at home, to doing what I was scared I couldn't muster up the strength to do. ALL of it. Laying down that night he was born, in our bed beside my husband and with baby curled up between us (yes, we co-sleep) moved me to tears. I cried because I was happy. How awesome is that??
Long story short, don't let fear hold you back from something that could be seriously moving! I was a VBAC and I heard PLENTY about how unsafe it would be. If you have your have your heart set on being home for baby, then press on! DO the research, find a midwife you trust, and follow your gut!
Just a few hours old :)
I can't end this post without praising to the heavens about how awesome my midwife and her staff were. They were a such a valued source of comfort and encouragement. Diane has this amazing gentle presence that, when you're mentally hanging on by a string, can pull you back in. Micheala and Shannon are both so incredibly knowledgeable. They also have a great presence. While in labor, I never once worried about my or baby's safety. I never had a moment of second guessing them. If they told me I needed to do something, or try something, I had full confidence that it was the right next step! When Nixon was born, I could feel their happiness for us and that is such a wonderful thing. You want the people helping you through something so special to be happy too!!
If your'e interested in home birthing and live in the Orlando area, I wanted to include the link to my midwife's website. She really is just AMAZING and her team is top notch!
If your'e interested in home birthing and live in the Orlando area, I wanted to include the link to my midwife's website. She really is just AMAZING and her team is top notch!
Until Later chickadees (I do have a new baby at home and it has taken me 2 weeks to write this lol!)
All my love,
Domesticated1022
Friday, June 7, 2013
Spring Fever VoxBox Item Review: Tastykake Kandy Bar Kakes
Hey there fellow sweet tooth suffers!
Doing a brief review on one of the items I received in my Spring Fever VoxBox. I'm tacking my disclaimer down below this time so you can just get to the..cream filling...of this post (ahhh, see what I did there?? So clever).
So in my VoxBox I received the S'mores Kandy Bar Kake. I split it with my daughters. I thought initially that they were going to be small, but it was actually a good sized bar (As you'll see in the photo below, it was almost the size of my voxbox). Big enough that I could sample it, and give both my girls the other half. Hubby also managed to snag a bite. Basically, it will fill any sweets craving you might be experiencing. I'm REALLY not a fan of anything with a cream filling or marshmallows. Hostess and I haven't shared a moment together in years and Little Debbie is only around because of her peanut butter bars. My Hubby and minions LOVE all that stuff, so I was half expecting to write this review from their perspectives.
Sweet Mother of Abraham Lincoln, this was goood!
Gonna shamefully admit that once I unwrapped it and got a whiff of that chocolate and graham cracker smell, the decision wasn't so set in stone. I really enjoyed it! Marshmallow middle and all! The kids of course loved it and Hubby decided it was worth putting on the grocery list. After I liked their page on Facebook (in hopes of snagging coupons in the future), a friend commented on the activity and said that her and her boyfriend were addicted to the Reese's peanut butter Kandy Bar Kakes.
HOLD THE MOTHER EFFING PHONE....
IT COMES IN PEANUT BUTTER?!?
OH, MY, GLOB. So on the hunt we went for these little morsels. I didn't find them at Publix or Winn-Dixie, and after some pretty aggressive texts to my fellow peanut butter loving friends, and one facebook convo later, I found out she bought them at Wal-Mart. Sweet baby Jesus, they were amazeballs. AMAZEBALLS!
The only downsides to the bars are that they are pretty up there in calories and they can be a bit crumbly (the S'mores on was ore so than the Reese's one). So if your'e not timid about calories and just want one hell of a sweet tooth fix, then you'll really enjoy these. They'll run you about $4.50 a box and I think they came 5-6 to a box.
Basically, try them out! We liked the peanut butter ones best, and there is one more flavor that I fail to remember so I'm including a link to the Tasty Kake website down below.
Hugs til Later!!
Domesticated1022
tastykake.com
I just wanted to remind everyone that I am a member of Influenster. This balls awesome site sends you COMPLIMENTARY samples (FULL SIZED!!!). Membership is free, but you must be invited by a current member. You basically fill out brief surveys on categories of your choice and those categories then help them figure out which products would be best for you to test. You then review the to your friends via social media and word of mouth. I've been a member for a just a little while and none of my friends hate me or have blocked me and many of the try things after I share them...and thats the whole point! Anyways, long story short: I'm not being paid to review any the items I receive in a VoxBox :)
Doing a brief review on one of the items I received in my Spring Fever VoxBox. I'm tacking my disclaimer down below this time so you can just get to the..cream filling...of this post (ahhh, see what I did there?? So clever).
So in my VoxBox I received the S'mores Kandy Bar Kake. I split it with my daughters. I thought initially that they were going to be small, but it was actually a good sized bar (As you'll see in the photo below, it was almost the size of my voxbox). Big enough that I could sample it, and give both my girls the other half. Hubby also managed to snag a bite. Basically, it will fill any sweets craving you might be experiencing. I'm REALLY not a fan of anything with a cream filling or marshmallows. Hostess and I haven't shared a moment together in years and Little Debbie is only around because of her peanut butter bars. My Hubby and minions LOVE all that stuff, so I was half expecting to write this review from their perspectives.
Sweet Mother of Abraham Lincoln, this was goood!
Gonna shamefully admit that once I unwrapped it and got a whiff of that chocolate and graham cracker smell, the decision wasn't so set in stone. I really enjoyed it! Marshmallow middle and all! The kids of course loved it and Hubby decided it was worth putting on the grocery list. After I liked their page on Facebook (in hopes of snagging coupons in the future), a friend commented on the activity and said that her and her boyfriend were addicted to the Reese's peanut butter Kandy Bar Kakes.
HOLD THE MOTHER EFFING PHONE....
IT COMES IN PEANUT BUTTER?!?
OH, MY, GLOB. So on the hunt we went for these little morsels. I didn't find them at Publix or Winn-Dixie, and after some pretty aggressive texts to my fellow peanut butter loving friends, and one facebook convo later, I found out she bought them at Wal-Mart. Sweet baby Jesus, they were amazeballs. AMAZEBALLS!
The only downsides to the bars are that they are pretty up there in calories and they can be a bit crumbly (the S'mores on was ore so than the Reese's one). So if your'e not timid about calories and just want one hell of a sweet tooth fix, then you'll really enjoy these. They'll run you about $4.50 a box and I think they came 5-6 to a box.
Basically, try them out! We liked the peanut butter ones best, and there is one more flavor that I fail to remember so I'm including a link to the Tasty Kake website down below.
Hugs til Later!!
Domesticated1022
tastykake.com
I just wanted to remind everyone that I am a member of Influenster. This balls awesome site sends you COMPLIMENTARY samples (FULL SIZED!!!). Membership is free, but you must be invited by a current member. You basically fill out brief surveys on categories of your choice and those categories then help them figure out which products would be best for you to test. You then review the to your friends via social media and word of mouth. I've been a member for a just a little while and none of my friends hate me or have blocked me and many of the try things after I share them...and thats the whole point! Anyways, long story short: I'm not being paid to review any the items I receive in a VoxBox :)
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