How do you deal with over-bearing parents or in-laws?
I am ever so fortunate to have a set of both. My Mom, and the Hubster's Mom. I'm fairly certain that I was, in some past life, an actual piece of shit. A pooplet of some sort. Its the only explanation I have for the curse/blessing that is a case of the meddlers. My mother is a pro-spanking, swearing free spirit. Hubster's mom is anti-spanking, "don't say shut up" country gal. So basically, in someones book, I ain't doing it right.
For the record, we don't spank, we do say shut up (which is almost always followed by "and do as I say"), and prior to living with my mother in-law (what a fresh hell that is!) a cable free family. We encourage LOTS of family time, being outdoors and promote reading and education. Neither the Hubster nor I were raised in such homes. Whatever, we turned out to not be hair collecting weirdos or murderers, so I say something somewhere was done at least half right.
But, how do you tell The Meddler(s) to back off without being the child/wife/person they will eternally hate. I see where they're coming from. They both raised X amount of kids, who as of this day are still breathing, so this MUST entitle them to more than their fair share (getting all Seuss on ya!) of two cents. I constantly get asked if I gave my youngest daughter her daily asthma medicine. HOLY CRAP!! I TOTALLY FORGOT TO GIVE HER SOMETHING THAT LITERALLY KEEPS HER OUT OF THE HOSPITAL! Thank God for you, Medicine Angel. Or if I helped my kids do their homework. Nope. Plum forgot to re-enforce our strict "education is key" motto.
Lets suppose you have model parents, and you do in fact aim to be like them. Do you ever feel as though they are over stepping boundaries or double checking to make sure you're doing it right?
Parenting is hard is hell. I really try not to pass judgement on others when it comes to raising kids. I'm no saint about it, but I try. We have all seen that tiny, sticky lunatic at some store that's driving his poor parent right into the loony bin. Or we have all seen a parent with some serious "I'm gonna whoop your ass the second the security cameras and customers cant see the hell I'm about to unleash" face. We stand there and wonder where they went wrong. Probably nowhere. Some kids are, well, just assholes. So I try to keep that in mind when I see it. I don't feel bad about thinking it either. Some of you may say that's a messed up thing to say and I'm sure you're right, but that doesn't make me wrong does it?? My point is that sometimes a helpful hint from another parent is a breath of fresh air and sometimes its a face full of farts. You can just do without it. I welcome SOME advice from Mom and Mom of Hubster. But what I don't need is to feel inadequate. I beat myself up enough as it is.
How do you give Meddlers a firm hint that you got dis?
What/Who drives you the craziest?
Does it seem well intentioned or just flat out mean?
I'd love to hear from you :)
Hugs til later,